Done as Damsels
by Cem-chan
Summary: Tired of always being saved, our favorite damsels in distress get their chance in the spotlight when Tabuu captures every male in the universe. Now on a journey between worlds, these girls will prove once and for all that they're no damsels! R
1. We're no Damsels

Im finally making the Smash Bros Fic I wanted to make. The current title is a prototype and may change if I find another one more fitting.

Summary: Tired of always being saved, our favorite damsels in distress get their chance in the spotlight when every male in Smash Mansion and beyond is captured by Tabuu. Now on a journey between worlds to find their friends, these girls will prove once and for all that they're no damsels!

* * *

Chapter 1: We're no Damsles

Zelda twitched. It couldn't be true...again. After looking over the days battle roster, she couldn't believe that Master Hand wasn't putting her in any matches...again. It seemed that day after day, she was getting left out of the fights and forced to do things like cooking and cleaning. What was she as maid? Well, Zelda was not going to stand for it anymore! She was going up to Master Hands office right now, and was going to give him a piece of her mind.

But apparently Zelda wasn't the only one with a problem. Samus and Peach were also in the office and they didn't looked too pleased either. Peach was sitting on a chair, with her arms crossed angrily, while Samus was holding her cannon at Master Hand and had a smash ball in her other hand. 'Now that I think about it,' Zelda thought, 'I don't recall seeing Sam and Peach on those rosters either.'

Zelda took a seat next to Peach. "Whats going on here?" she asked. Peach turned to her a little annoyed.

"Master Hand isn't letting any of us fight because "we're little girls" so now Samus is going to give him her Zero Laser if he doesn't change his mind." Peach explained. Zelda glared at Master Hand. How dare he! Normally Zelda would pity the poor fool who dared to make Samus so mad that she'd Zero Laser them but she was more than willing to make an exception in his case.

"Shouldn't we get in there to help Samus?" Zelda asked. Peach was about to stop her but Zelda was already walking over to the furious bounty Hunter and the terrified glove.

Unfortunatly, when Samus was mad, she didn't care who she attacked and Zelda was sent back to her chair as an icicle. Peach laughed nervously. "Guess Ishould have warned you," she said and bit her lip to stop laughing. Zelda just glared at her.

Meanwhile Samus was moments away from crushing the smash ball causing panic and alarm in Master Hand. "Now you will put us in todays roster and days to come rosters or will I have to go Metroid on you?" she threatened. Master Hand turned into a fis and slammed the desk. "Samus Aran your threats don't scare me," he boomed, "The battle field is no place for a woman. Now go to the kitchen and make brownies or something." Samus crushed the smash ball absorbing its power.

Zelda stood up again. "Don't make us call Supreme Hand!" she added. Everyone in the room turned to her fearfully. Sure they were all mad, but they couldn't have been that mad to get THAT involved. Master Hand floated over to her.

"You wouldn't," he growled at her. Zelda slyly took out her cell phone. "Supreme Hand and I are like this. On Speedial," She pressed a button and positioned her finger on dial. Samus and Peach watched amused and Master Hand tried tog rab the phone from her.

"Okay you want to fight," he said, "I'll squeeze you three in somewhere. Just don't call Supreme Hand." He ran out of the office. Zelda sighed and put her phone away. Peach ran up to her.

"That was amazing Zelly," she cheered and hugged her friend. Samus removed her helmet and gave Zelda a confused knowing look.

"Zel just how do you know Supreme Hands number?" she questioned. Zelda laughed.

"Relax that wasn't Supreme Hand I was going to dial. It was a bluff and Master Hand fell for it hook line and sinker." Zelda explained. Samus and Peach nodded in understanding.

"So who's speed dial was it anyway?" Peach suddenly asked. Zelda instantly stopped laughing. "Zelly?" Peach asked. Zelda caught sight of the clock.

"Oh it's that late already? Oh no we're going to be late for the first match!" she stammered and dashed out of the office. Peach and Samus sweatdropped.

* * *

Later that Day...Or more Specifically that Evening

"Ugh leave it to Master Hand to pick our fights," Samus (now Zero Suit) groaned and fell onto her bed. Peach and Zelda sat down on theirs angrily. Master Hand decided that Zelda, Peach and Samus should fight Young Link, Ice Climbers and Pichu respectively. The problem? They were some of the worst fighters in the mansion and the girls were humliated due to the fact that hurting YL IC and Pichu was an untold crime due to their young cute status. Even Master Hand knew that so small child brawlers were always pitted against each other.

"Zel you should've let me blast that glove," Samus hissed. Peach nodded.

"Or we should really find out Supreme Hands number and really call h--"

"No," Zelda interrupted, "If Supreme Hand gets involved in a mansion matter again..." All three girls shuddered. They all decided there was absolutely no need for Supreme Hand to get involved. Besides if Master Hand doesn't let them fight some real opponents tomorrow they'll all get smash balls and give the glove a beating he'll never forget.

"Guys are so annoying," Peach said later when everyone was asleep (except the trio).

"Yeah," Zelda said, "They always think they're all that because we get captured and they save us."

"Mhm," Samus agreed, "But I don't get why I'm always grouped with you two. I've never been captured. I'm always saving the captured."

Zelda and Peach looked over at her annoyed but Samus didn't seem to notice. "What about the time the hatchling of yours saved you from a parasite or something?" Peach suddenly asked.

"That was life or death," Samus replied simply, "I was never actually kidnapped and had to be saved by my hero." Peach and Zelda looked at each other sheepishly.

"Ok uh," Peach said reaching for the light switch, "Good night Zelly. Good night Sammy."

"Good Night," The other two said as Peach flicked the light off.

* * *

The Next Morning...

Beep! Beep! The alarm rang. Zelda hit the snooze button carelessly but ignored it completely. She wanted to sleep more. But when you share a room with the craziest and perkiest girls ever that was a battle on its own. And as usual they were arguing. Zelda looked up to see what was going on this time.

"But Sammy this would look so nice on you," Peach whined holding a poofy blue dress. Samus was holding her stun gun aimed straight at the dress.

"No means no," Samus yelled. Zelda sighed. Peach would never give up on stuffing Samus, the most dangerous (and violent) woman in the mansion (not just woman, PERSON/CREATURE) in a dress of some sort or other pretty clothes that she or Zelda would die for.

"Peach, Samus," Zelda said sleepily, "Do you have to fight in this room? And so early in the morning?" Her voice grew hostile with each word.

"Sorry Zelly," Peach said cheerfully," But wouldn't this dress look so cute so Sammy?" Zelda looked over at Peach who was on Cloud 9 then at Samus who was aiming the stun gun at her now and sighed. Why did she have to be the normal one?

"Peach leave Samus alone would ya? Would you like it if she tried to get you in one of her power suits?" Zelda reasoned. Samus snickered. As if she'd ever let Peach near her beautiful power suits. The last time an unautorized figure came near the suits, Samus was stuck in Zero-Suit mode for a week.

Peach sighed defeated and tossed the dress on a chair. Zelda nodded and stood up. "Lets just go get breakfast, check the rostaer and beat up Master Hand. Okay?" she asked. Peach and Samus smiled evily and nodded.

They reached the dining hall pretty quickly, which was surprising as Roy was usually taking tolls for climbing down the stairs and everyday the price was different. "Guess he's giving us all a break today," Peach shrugged. Zelda nodded happily while Samus rolled her eyes nonchalantly.

But when they opened the dining room doors they're hapiness (and annoyance) quickly melted into shock.

"Oh..." Zelda gasped

"My..." Samus rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn't seeing things.

"Goodness..." Peach finished putting her hand over her mouth.

The sight was too shocking!

* * *

Chapter 1 is done. Supreme Hand is an OC of mine (one that scares Master Hand even) and will make an appearence soon. I'll write Chapter 2 soon. (Since I have time now ) (Oh and sorry if some of the characters are a bit OOCish)

Until then readers...


	2. Tabuu is back?

Here's chapter 2. Supreme Hand makes a Cem fics debut here. I might include this hand in some future fics. And Thanks for reviewin everyone.

* * *

Chapter 2: Tabuu is back?

This couldn't be true! The dining room was Empty! That was impossible. All of the guys always raced to the dining room (Roy even made money out of it) and the girls were always last to arrive. It just wasn't possible that the whole room was empty. There wasn't even any food on the table.

"Could this be the wrong room?" Samus asked puzzled. Peach looked at the Door sign. "Well it says Dining room here." she said.

Zelda studied the room carefully. There was no sign of life at all. It was like no one even entered the Dining Room since dinner last night.

"Oh my Goodness," Peach suddenly yelled, "What if we've been asleep for so long that everyone dissintergrated into dust particles and we're the only ones left in the entire universe!!" Samus and Zelda just stared at her as if she was nuts...well more than usual anyway.

"Peach do you hear yourself sometimes?" Samus asked. There was a sudden laughter behind them.

"That's a pretty interesting theory Princess Toadstool," the voice said. The three girls turned around to see another white glove (similar to Master and Crazy). Only this hand had a diamond ring on one finger. "It's much better than what actually happened anyway."

"Supreme Hand!" Zelda announced shocked. "What are you doing here!" The hand bowed slightly.

"Good to see you too Princess Hyrule. Miss Aran," Supreme Hand answered, "And I am here on an urgent matter. Let us go to my husbands office to discuss it." She floated away. The three girls had no choice but to follow. You do NOT disobey Supreme Hand. Like her name suggested, she was the superior hand and could even boss Master hand (her husband) around. (Well so could Samus technically).

"Now do you know why I'm here?" Supreme Hand asked in the office picking up a newspaper. Peach's hand shot up in the air. "Princess Toadstool that was a rhetorical question," the hand added handing Zelda the newspaper. Zelda opened it up nervously. Samus and Peach looked over her shoulder. All three gasped.

There in large black letters said, "MALES GONE MISSING!" Zelda looked at Supreme Hand worried.

"Is this piece paper trying to tell us that all the males are missing?" Peach asked. Samus took the paper and was now reading it.

"There's more," Supreme Hand said, "There is reason to believe that the one behind these disappearences is Tabuu." Everyone looked at her shocked.

"That's impossible," Zelda shrieked, "Tabuu was defeated and his life force was used to fix the worlds. He can't be alive. It's not possible!"

"Oh it's possible," Samus said and held out the paper. She pointed to a picture that had a winged figure in the corner. "See this figure? It could be Tabuu."

"Yes that's where my suspision came from," Supreme Hand (lets call her SH from now on) admitted, "Of course its not guranteed to be Tabuu but in every newspaper you will catch some glimpse of this figure so it's likely to be the kidnapper."

"Not quite," Samus said deep in thought, "If I remeber correctly Tabuu only works from the shadows. He controlled Master Hand and also R.O.B. Don't you think it's kinda strange that Tabuu is suddenly in newspapers?" Zelda and Peach thought about that. It was true that Tabuu didn't show himself until the Subspace Bomb factory was destroyed.

"My thinking like a true detective already," SH said delighted, "That's the kind of attitude we need to get them back! Good Work Miss Aran."

Samus turned to SH with a knowing expression. "Detective?" Peach asked, "What does solving murders have to do with anything. We should go over to the evil lair and get back our friends right?"

"No," Samus answered, "Supreme here wants to send us on a little quest to find out what really happened. You don't think it's Tabuu do ya?" The hand shook itself "no".

"Yes Miss Aran I don't," SH said, "Like you said, Tabuu doesn't work out in the open like that. But I have no doubt that Tabuu himself is alive. Your job is to figure out who kidnapped the males and the whereabouts of Tabuu. It's a perilous journey across worlds but you're the only ones who can...and WILL do it." Samus sweatdropped and studied the picture again.

Then Zelda realized something. "Why are we the only ones here? This guy only captures males right? So Nana and Jigglypuff should be here too." Peach nodded.

"I watched the surveillance video from last night," SH explained, "The bandits moved like shadows and took everyone in seconds. But in the dark they apparently couldn't tell Nana from Popo and Jigglypuff from Kirby. So I guess they just took them both." This did not answer many questions. It just made the girls flaming mad.

Once more they were left out of the action. Master Hand even let the other two girls brawl. (Well Nana because she's with Popo) And they were kidnapped as well. Instead of being relieved that they were left, Peach Samus and Zelda were pissed off that they weren't kidnapped either. It's like the enemy thought that the boys were his only threat so in a world with only women he would suceed.

But he was way off. Samus, Peach and Zelda were no average girls. Samus was a well known bounty hunter, and she was one to be respected (or its cannon time). Zelda may have usually been a vicitm of kidnapping herself, but she had power (that was what Ganondorf was really after) and could fight too. And Peach...well Peach was kidnapped more than anyone (in history probably) so this was her big chance to prove to everyone that she could fight for herself too.

"Okay we'll do it," Zelda said. SH nodded (I want to say smiled but she's a hand) "Just what I wanna hear," SH said, "I've prepared a ship for you. You may decide which world to go to first."

"Okay you two decide," Samus said pointing at the princesses, "I'm going to go get my power suit ready." The moment she left Supreme Hand twitched nervously.

"I suggest running," SH warned them. Zelda and Peach looked at her in confusion. At that moment Samus returned, still in her Zero Suit...and she did not look happy. She marched over to SH.

"THEY TOOK IT! THEY TOOK MY POWER SUITS! ALL OF THEM!" She grabbed Master Hand's desk and hurled it out the window. Zelda and Peach cowered in fear.

"Well yes," SH said calmly, "Apparently they do view your power suit as a threat...just not you."

"How rude," Peach commented, "Don't they know Sammy is dangerous with or without the Power Suit." Samus sighed.

"Thanks Peach," she said then, without warning, slammed her fist at the wall cracking it, "But I WILL get my Power Suits back and anyone in my way will perish. And it'll be a slow death." Zelda sweatdropped and Peach jumped on Samus hugging her.

"Yes with Sammy on our team we'll have no trouble finding Tabuu and all the boys," PEach cheered as Samus tried to peel her off. "Now lets go get everyone back." Zelda nodded.

"Supreme Hand which was the first place to get ahem malenapped?" Samus asked (after getting rid of Peach), "We should go there first." SH just gave them a stack of newspapers.

"All of that is your job," SH said, "Call me when you get a lead. And if I don't get info by the end of this week..." Peach and Zelda cowered behind Samus who also looked a little shaken.

"You will," Zelda assured. SH put a finger on Zelda's shoulder.

"Good Girl," SH said, "Your ship is outside the mansion. Go to it."

"Wait shouldn't we pack?" Peach asked, "I have all these cute new dresses that I want to bring."

"Me too," Zelda added, "And Link's weapon collection would be usuful I guess." Samus rolled her eyes. Leave it to a princess to think about a dress. Samus didn't really have any normal clothes. She had a T-shirt and some Jeans somewhere in her room. Where were those again? Oh right they were purposely placed by the...

Samus smacked her forehead. "Of course," she said, "I need to get the weapons from my "In-case-All-Males-go-missing-and-Power-Suit-is-taken-too-collection." Those are a must have for this mission." Everyone just stared at her as she ran to get her emergency weapons.

"I better start sorting," Zelda said and reached for the stack of papers on the chair. "I'll go pack for all of us," Peach said perkily, "Zelly do you want to bring your b(Zelda started shaking her arms furiosly)lackmail collection?" Zelda slapped her forehead and Supreme Hand looked at her curiously. Peach realized the mistake she made and scurried out of the room.

"Blackmail collection?" SH asked half-amused, half-angry. Zelda sweatdropped.

"Well you see Miss Supreme Hand," Zelda stammered, "I need to have something on the guys so--"

"Anything on my husband and Crazy?" SH interrupted, "If you have anything on them I want it. In exchange I wont confiscate your collection." Zelda could've sworn she heard SH snicker.

"All yours," Zelda said. In reality Zelda had a whole stack of material on Master Hand. She was going to use it on him if he wouldn't stop being such a sexist. Then she realized something else. How did Peach even know about that collection? It was placed behind Samus's weapon collection.

"I'll be right back," Zelda said shocked and ran upstairs.

All three returned later. Zelda had a few folders in her hand, Peach was wimpering over the two bruises on her head, and Samus was dragging a wagon with two suitcases (One giant purple one and one humongous pink one) and a whole lotta weapons.

"Here ya go Miss Supreme Hand," Zelda said handing the folders, "Now we're off." Samus and Peach nodded.

As they left the room SH sighed. "How do they plan on fitting all of that in the ship?" Then she eyed the folders. "Oh who cares. It's their problem now."

Meanwhile, Samus, Zelda, and Peach all somehow managed to squeeze into a tiny little gummi ship (from Kingdom Hearts). "The most powerful being in the universe is also the cheapest," Samus grumbled. The ship was built for two and the chairs were pretty close together. There was some room in the back but that was occupied by suitcases. So basically 3 girls had to squeeze into two chairs. On second thought, it was a good thing Samus was stuck in Zero-Suit mode.

"By the way Zelly," Peach said, "Did you figure out our first destination?" Zelda pilled out the first newspaper from the pile (They were thrown on the floor). She didn't get a chance to sort them.

"Yeah let's go to Donkey Kongs world," Zelda suggested, "It says here that their world is in pretty big trouble with no males in it." Samus snickered.

"Just like I'm sure Peach will become President or win a game show," she remarked sarcastically.  
"Yeah," Peach agreed until she realized what Samus said about her, "Hey!" Zelda sighed and pushed some buttons.

'This is gonna be a long trip,' she thought miserably.

* * *

Starting from here the three heroines will be going to other worlds and building an army...sorta. But has anyone ever noticed that all our "damsels" from DK have always been male? This'll bring some 'shocking' relevation in the next chapter.

Next time: Pauline's Perils


	3. Pauline's Perils

I'm here. This story isn't being abandoned. I'm soooooooooooooo sorry for not updating sooner. I wanted to update before leaving but that didn't happen so today I got smart and made my annoying little voice not let me watch Slayers Revolution until I finished this chapter.

Um...enjoy.

* * *

Chapter 3: Pauline's Perils

The Kongo Jungle. All was peaceful. There was no panic. Just some regular old Monkey Business...until a certain gummi ship crash landed.

Samus and a coughing Zelda stepped out angrily. "That's the last time I EVER let you near the wheel." Peach crawled out of the ruined ship.

"It's not my fault I never drove before," she whimpered.

Zelda twitched. After seeing Samus's annoyed face she thought, 'This wont end well.'

And as usual she was right. "WHY WOULD YOU ASK TO DRIVE AND THEN SAY YOU'VE DONE THIS BEFORE IF YOU NEVER DROVE ANYTHING BEFORE IN YOUR LIFE!" Samus demanded.

Peach started wiping the dirt of her dress. "Well, Toadsworth always says the best way to learn is through experience," she explained.

"You mean the same Toadswoth who fell into a coma when you left the room without telling him?" Zelda questioned. Samus started laughing.

"I've no doubt he'll fall into another coma if we tell him about this Princess's adventures for the past few years," Samus teased. Peach turned away annoyed.

"Oh don't worry Peach when we go to Mushroom Kingdom I'll leave out some things," Samus added. Then they all remebered something.

"Oh yeah that's why we're here," Peach muttered, "We need to find some lead to Tabuu and to where the boys are."

"Now why would you wanna do a thing like that?" a voice suddenly said from the trees. The three girls looked around.

"Must be an enemy," Zelda said getting her...er Link's bow and arrows ready. She aimed it at a tree. Peach looked impressed.

"Wow Zelly you can tell which tree the voice was from?" she asked. Zelda shook her head slightly revealing her long pointy Hylian ears. "Oh," Peach said and pulled out a white raddish (I thought it looks like a raddish kay?) Samus prepared her portable cannon. The voice sounded again.

"Hey wait don't point those scary things at me!" it cried out frantically, "I come in peace. I'm...WOAH!" A shadowy figure suddenly fell out of the tree and onto the ground. It was a small monkey with a purple hat and a huge blonde ponytail. "Ouch," she cried. Zelda and Samus let down their weapons.

"Oh Hi Dixie," Peach said happily. The monkey looked up at her.

"Hi Peach good to see you again," The monkey named Dixie replied. Peach came over to her. "Sorry if sounded a bit evil," Dixie said, "But I'm sick and tired of those damn newspapers lying and writing how we're so helpless without those boys gone. It's kinda peaceful now. You know how there's always a war when a banana is lost." Peach laughed.

Zelda and Samus exchanged glances. Dixie didn't sound like she was worried about anything. "So what brings you three here?" the monkey asked. Peach explained what happened to all the guys.

"We were hoping to find some clues here," Zelda continued, "Dixie was there anything left behind after the guys disappeared?" But Dixie was already in another conversation with Peach.

"So those two apes were kidnapped again were they? Those two are the only Damsels in Distress I know of around here. Dk is either kidnapped or doing the kidnapping," Dixie stated.

"Your talking about that woman aren't you?" Peach said suddenly not so perky. Dixie nodded.

"If you mean that Pauline then yeah," Dixie agreed, "Our kidnappers are not evil. We did y'all a favor kidnapping her. And then Mario screwed it up."

"I know!" Peach said, "And that woman is--"

"Seriously," Dixie continued as if she read Peach's mind, "Can you believe--"

"No! It's horrible," Peach interrupted the same way. Their conversation went on like that for some time leaving Zelda and Samus clueless.

"Hey Zel, who's Pauline anyway?" Samus asked watching Peach's conversation annoyed.

"Mario's ex-girlfriend," Zelda told her, "I don't really like her too much either." Samus groaned.

"Peach," she yelled, "Get up and lets go. We're not here to chtit-chat." But Peach was completely wrapped up in her conversation. A conversation that Samus and Zelda couldn't figure out due to the constant interrupting.

"Um maybe we should ask around ourselves," Zelda suggested, "We'll see if there was anything left after their disappearence." Samus nodded defeated.

"I just want to know how it's physically possible to kidnap a whole population," Samus said, "So far the only way I know off is to exterminate them...but they still come back to haunt you." Zelda blinked in confusion. But she figured Samus was very mad because she hit a tree and not only did the bark around there break off, the tree was dented.

"Samus have you ever played any DK games?" Zelda asked, "I'm afraid I cant remember anyone from this world who could help us." Samus shook her head.

"I don't really pay attention to anything but the fights," she explained, "You know the games never chronicle anything correctly." Zelda nodded. The Nintendo games kept at the mansion didn't exactly do the best job at retelling the actual adventures. Usually because of the many sidequests and editing of some minor details. Namely the ones in Four Swords which showed how Zelda and the maidens were simply kidnapped. In reality the had put up quite a fight but Link's intervention (causing him to get knocked out) distracted them causing the kidnapping. But noooooo, Nintendo couldn't do that to their great hero so they chose to make Zelda a simple kidnapped princess. And that was just one "minor" detail. And that just one in that particular Zelda game.

"Us saving the boys is going to be a pretty important event," Samus muttered, "If they don't chronicle it properly they're toast." She walked further into the jungle. "Come one Zelda leave the chatter box with the monkey." Zelda sighed.

"Peach we're leaving," she yelled before following Samus. There was no reaction from the pink princess but the moment her partners were out of sight, she grew quiet.

"Are they gone?" Peach asked. Dixie climbed up a tree for a bird's eye view and nodded.

"They're headed to the village," Dixie figured, "About time. There's something I must tell you. I can't tell the others about this, I'm sorry." Peach shook her head.

"It's fine," she cheered, "but what's wrong?" Dixie looked around.

"The trees have ears," she growled softly, "I can't tell you here. Follow me to my hideout." Peach sighed and ran after the monkey.

* * *

Sigh. Pretty pointless chapter I know. But i have some plans for next chapter which gets interesting, I promise.

Next update: Sooner than this one.


End file.
